During my high school years, I was extremely fortunate in having the head football coach as an impromptu mentor. Despite not being one of “his own” (although I still hold the belief I could have been an explosive addition to the team), he continually encouraged me while I pursued my goals and frequently reminded me not to settle for less than I deserved; academically and in life. When it seemed I was too interested in what the “in crowd” was doing he tactfully reminded me of who I was. He and his wonderful wife even came to my 18th birthday party to serenade me with the fight song , something I performed outside their door on numerous occasions. I saw him come in early and leave far later than most in order to aid his team in achieving the highest level of success on and off of the field. He aimed to not only create superior athletes but also wished to utilize his coaching platform to mold men of integrity and character. I doubt a single one of his players would refute that Coach’s level of commitment and ability to motivate his team were second to none (after hearing one of his speeches even I was ready to run through a wall from sheer adrenaline). However, he was not the only one I admired. His wife, a woman of true intelligence, independence and beauty was constantly cheering from the stands and was the first to greet him on the field after a win or even a loss (though those were far less frequent). I remember being in awe of her dedication.
Not to the team, but to her husband.
It wasn’t until I became the wife of a coach myself years later that I began to truly realize what sacrifices she must have endured and the type of woman she had to be to maintain a cohesive family unit in her husband’s absence. I was ignorant of the level of devotion that was necessitated to maintain a healthy relationship when married to a coach.
Hour upon hour and day after day I have witnessed my husband pour his heart, energy and time into the athletes he coaches. He aids them in cultivating their talents while pushing them to strive for their best. He coaches individuals as well as the team as a whole. I have witnessed so many character traits in my husband that I saw in that successful head coach years ago. Coaching is part of him, it drives him, it is a passion.
But it’s hard.
Hard on us as a couple and our family unit. Dear Lawd have mercy! The term “Coach’s Widow” is not far from the truth. Our third son was born the day before the track season started one year and my husband had to leave the hospital to attend practice (luckily we were fortunate enough to have others stand-in at my bedside). We were unable to celebrate Valentine’s day 5 years in a row due to a scheduled coaching clinic that always took place on that day. I attended many a family function and wedding alone due to a conflicting meet or game. There are countless incidences that follow that pattern but I want to be very clear. Do not think for a second that those were easy choices for my husband to make. He does not take delight in missing special family moments or telling me for the fourth night in a row he’ll be home later than expected. He loves and cherishes me and he undoubtedly adores his sons. However, he also knows that a good coach has to put in the time necessary to create a successful program and team. Investing time into his athletes generates the most significant results. He cares about them, more than he would ever let on.
My purpose in writing this post is tri-fold. First, to pay tribute to two coaches I greatly respect and admire. Second, to hopefully give you a little glimpse of the behind-the-scenes sacrifices coaches willingly yet painstakingly make to garner their athletes the highest rate of success. And lastly, if you have a coach presently or had one in the past that came alongside you and helped to make you the person or athlete that you are, thank them. Send them a little note or email, articulating or expressing your appreciation. The majority of the coaches out there have no interest in the money paid for coaching. It is the sense of satisfaction they receive in aiding a P.R. achievement. It is the joy of sending their athlete to the collegiate level or witnessing them succeed academically or professionally due to the utilization of some of the insights or coaching they provided. You may think your words may not matter, as they have coached countless students over the years. I can tell you with certainty that my husband has kept every note given to him by an athlete. When it seems like he is not making a difference or that coaching has become too political, I leave one of those notes on his dresser to remind him of his “why”. If you get a spare moment, help remind a past/present coach of why they do what they do. It means more than you know.
Sincerely,
A Coach’s Wife
ohdearlawdhavemercy 